Jury Duty Induced Denial

Last week I took part in a great American rite of passage:  jury duty.  Hearing so many before bemoan the duty of serving on a jury, I was not very excited about receiving a summons.  My husband, on the other hand, was completely excited about my opportunity to do my civic duty. 

On this side of the experience, I still do not think getting a summons will induce the same giddy excitement that an Amazon package does.  But, I do know now that it will be a very curious and interesting day of observing human behavior, which is why I am writing about it now.  Actually, why I'm writing about it NOW (a whole week later) is so that I am not found to be in contempt of court or some other legal babble that goes along the plain speak lines of "Do Not Discuss This Case."  However, now that the trial is over - let's discuss. 

There were 62 of us stuffed into every available seat of courtroom G in the Marin County Court House designed by Frank Lloyd Wright - that in itself proved to be fascinating and entertaining.  We were in a circular, wood-paneled room with recessed ring of bubble lights that I was sure were going to give birth to aliens that would eat us all.  Then, there was the exercise of the seating of the 62.  Who knew it would take a bailiff armed with a taser and handgun to get people to sit right next to each other?  Then there were the late comers to the room, who were forced to take seats in the jury box before the court clerk had actually called their names, who would give the bailiff a double take; please don't make me; oh, wait, she's armed look before shuffling off to their seat. 

Next, came the first round of name calling and the initial wave of denial.  18 names were called to play musical chairs with those unfortunately seated in the jury box and alternate's chairs, and all 62 of us were praying hard that our name wouldn't be called.  No one wanted to get called to the box.  If they did they would have jumped up and run to it like a contestant on The Price Is Right (Oh, yes I was going to do it.  You know it!).  The amazing thing was once they go to the box, their dogged determination to stay there as demonstrated by their answers to the judge's and attorney's questions.  Please note that the names and circumstances have been changed to protect the oddly determined and me (that whole contempt of court thing again), and to provide great comic relief.  By the way, this was a DUI case with no accident or injuries to anyone. Also note that I am not trying to making light of the crime involved in this case, only the reactions of the potential jurors. DUI is a serious and far too often deadly offense.

Judge:  Do any of you know the defendant?
Potential Jurors:  Nope.
Judge:  Do any of you know either of the attorneys?
Potential Juror #8:  Well, I actually know the defense attorney.  He was my first love in high school, we dated for 3 weeks, and then he broke up with me to date my best friend.  But, I can be impartial here, your honor, I swear.  The fact that every relationship since then has failed will not bias me in the least.  I know this will not affect my decision in any way.  Please, please keep me.
**FAIL**


Judge:  Have any of you been arrested for DUI?
Potential Jurors:  Nope
Judge:  Have you ever had a family member arrested for DUI?
Potential Juror #3:  I have not had a family member arrested, but I am in this wheelchair today because of a drunk driver.  However, I have had extensive therapy, so I'm not bitter, and I can be completely impartial in this case.  I know it.  I promise.  Really, I can. 
**FAIL**

These are just two examples of the jury vetting, between the judge and the two attorneys they eliminated 20 people on the basis of "um. . .sure, you can." So, I began to wonder what would lead to this deep seated denial and determination to hold on to something that nobody wanted at the start of this day.  I decided it was all to do P.E.  That's right, Physical Education classes.  All, but maybe two, people in the room that day had grown up with dodge-ball and kickball team picking in PE class.  That dreaded, anxiety-inducing ritual of hoping and praying that you would not be the last person picked for a team and the semi-athletic attempts to prove that you were worthy of being first round draft next class time.  And, all of this is ridiculous, because just like jury duty no one wants to be there in the first place.  Girls do not want to get all hot and sweaty in the middle of the school day, and boys would rather play football than kickball. 

So, maybe I am looking forward to my next jury duty summons as more and more non-PE educated folks join the ranks of potential jurors.  Will they try to hold on to the dreaded hot seat?